#26. It’s (Almost) Showtime….



Can you spell  P R O C R A S T I N A T E ?

Procrastination. It’s one of those constant challenges that lurk under my bed, along with the ever-present impostor syndrome that I struggle with. (I started writing this blog to fight this stuff.) I know myself well enough to know that if it weren’t for deadlines, I might not get anything big accomplished. Which is why I feel so fortunate to have them, big fat deadlines. The current one looming  (which I’ve had on the calendar for the past couple of years) is Friday, April 25th, the date of my exhibition opening at Alexey von Schlippe Gallery of Art.

Actually, the real deadline is on Tuesday, the 22nd. That’s when I deliver the work to the gallery, which is about an hour away. I’ve already reserved the UHaul van, and yesterday most of the paintings got wrapped up and taped, in heavy plastic sheeting. Still need to put wires on about 11 paintings… So far it looks like 30 paintings will be installed, from big (53×65”) to small (10×10”), although if I have it together, one more little painting will be finished by Tuesday.


a bunch of paintings about to be wrapped (typical studio, although usually they are not scattered all over the floor)

I’d love to hear from you about how you work with deadlines and establish goals. And if you happen to be anywhere near Groton CT before June 7, maybe make a side trip to the AvS gallery, and check out my show there… it’s an amazing place to visit, a huge stone mansion, with a gorgeous sculpture path along the water (slideshow— you can advance the images manually) and beautiful grounds and ocean views. Worth a trip…Image

P.S. The gallery has four rooms, and there are three other artists showing in the other rooms. Here is the link to preview the show.

#10. Stopping Trying

Confession: I used to try to be a certain way, look a certain way. I wondered if I was beautiful enough, smart enough, cool enough. Wondered how others would see me and/or my art. If my art was “good” enough, different enough, unique enough, powerful enough, inventive enough..If it was really meaningful. And on & on. Although I’ve consistently fought this stupid and annoying monkey on my back, it’s a constant process to shake it off. (“What? You think that’s GOOD ART? who are you kidding? who do you think you are?” ) This stuff is all a product of fear. Fear of what? Being rejected? Being hurt? Failure? Being seen as stupid? Being found out that I’m not really who I pretend to be? (see: impostor syndrome)

I know I’m not alone. It seems so many young (or not-so-young) emerging creatives are SO concerned with being edgy, cool, hip, trying their damnedest to impress. What about just DOING? Making? Saying? I know the feeling so well. Wanting, desiring, hoping for acknowledgement and “success”, wanting to stand out in the crowd, be “different”, get “known”.  Don’t all artists?

Maybe not.

“If we are willing to open ourselves up and be laid bare, to respond to the moment and without hesitation, to connect deeply with our audiences’ eyeballs and the minds behind, we will be freed of the bullshit that holds us back. We will tap into the deep wellsprings of creativity that lie beneath our artifice and style and self-conscious crap and hesitation and self-deception and excuses and fears. We will make art of truth.” Danny Gregory

Artist/writer/thinker all-around amazing and inspiring human Danny Gregory recently wrote a truly brave post regarding fear.  I’ve been ruminating on this topic quite a bit recently, and interestingly enough, over the past few weeks, I’ve been coming across references to one of my favorite books on the subject, which if you never read (in art school, or out, or whatever) you’d best find it– “Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmakingby David Bayles and Ted Orland. (1993, folks, and still as timely as ever.) Funny how when something is percolating, references keep showing up. Somehow, my old copy of Art&Fear has been missing. I was actually looking for it yesterday, in my studio, when a visitor happened to mention it in our conversation. No luck. Then this morning, reading some comments on Danny’s post “The Fears of a Clown“, there’s yet another reference to the book.. so bingo—-I look in my bookshelf (where I’ve looked a ton of times before), and find it immediately. (dust-covered.) Obviously I’m supposed to re-read it. So I will.


 To quote Danny Gregory, again: “At their core, drawing, painting, clowning, all art, are about letting go, responding from your gut, trusting, working hard. Can you let go of all your preconceptions and finally, truly, truthfully see? Can you embrace and trust your audience rather than trying desperately to impress or con them?… Art is not entertainment. It is the way to what matters in our lives. To conquer our fears, we must face them, turn their ugly lies to beautiful truth, and share what we have made of them on the page or the stage.”

 Funny thing. As I’ve begun stopping the “trying”, I realize I no longer worry about what others think, so much. I’ve begun just “doing”. {I will not quote the famous footwear company here, but you know the deal}

“There is no try, there is only do.” Yoda